My puzzles, pictures and marked maps.

Each life, our life, gives us a puzzle

A puzzle, when solved, would show a big picture

A picture, a photograph, the negative lays in our hands

To be developed into an album,

An album starting with a squalling start

And lasting till a crippling end.

An end, with no middle.

A middle which was a haze, which none of us will remember, you wouldn’t remember.

Remember, unless it’s a shining start resting amidst the tangle of thoughts.

Thoughts. Broken thoughts. Sad. Happy. Fond. Thoughts. Memories. Forgetful. Thoughts.

What was I thinking?

The very idea of forgetting frightens me.

When…when I will stop in the middle of the sentence and ask “what was I saying?” Or when I will stop in my tracks trying to remember what I was supposed to do. When I will forget the contour of your face. When the items in my room would just be artefacts of a sordid past which to me, an onlooker, would mean nothing.

Remember that map? The one on my wall. I mark it every day, trying to remember countries and their capitals. I laugh when each day I cringe trying to remember the capital of Madagascar. Because it’s a funny tricky word. I think it is Antananarivo.

I think so.

Soon I will start speaking so fast that each sentence will bleed into the next, each word will be reaching out to the next in the fear of losing it. Emotions will roll into each other, creating this void where I will be unable to tell you what I wanted to. Where I will know that I’m better off believing that the moment is lost, for I don’t want to feel bad about another memory lost.

I need to complete my puzzle. I want to see the picture and remember what it felt like when I was developing it. Standing in that small red room. Even…even if I can’t, I will figure out where to frame and hang it up and mark each moment, just like I do with my map. That way it will become a treasure map, with a chest which I open each night and relive.

But first, I really can’t remember… I can’t remember…

Do you remember where I kept the last puzzle piece?

Writers Note: I M SO HAPPY to be able to write again and blog. I guess my 3 month writers block is gone! :)

Important things a teenager learns.

Around the corner, awaits my 18^th birthday and guess what? I am not ready to be a legal adult yet.

Oh my god! There are so many choices to be made, responsibilities to be assumed and in process a personality to be developed that is absolutely the first step to the dream that is to be achieved. The funny thing is, as much real experience you are going to be bestowed with after crossing that magic number, the journey into your adulthood is guided by your past experiences themselves.

Our experiences from our gullible teenage years wouldn’t seem so helpful; but it was the time when we grew the most and believe me or not I learnt some really important things that I think are worth sharing.

1.       You will be going through various phases in which different music, movies and hobbies would be discovered. Ha! Don’t be let down by your adults calling you inconclusive or continuously chanting “it’s just a phase”. Well hell yeah it’s just a phase. We are finding great things and each time we change our choice, we are learning things about ourselves that we have never learnt before. So go out. Be fickle. You will learn to forgive yourself for those horrible tastes too!

2.       You may not meet ‘the one’ just as fast as your friends claim to do. You might be single all your life *ahem* wondering whether you are meant to die alone. But hey, it’s not your fault you like poetry and want someone who doesn’t think you are crazy. Rather wait than go around dating people who break your heart. Besides you are just 17 with around forever to go. Chill. There are more important dreams and things we got to achieve eh.

3.       Even sitting and staring at the wall might seem appealing some time. You are going to be tired and lazy sometimes, sometimes all the time, and just not doing anything may literally be the best thing in the world. THIS IS THE BEST TIME to watch horror films, lounge around and have time to reflect and ponder. You might realize that ‘you’ and yourself are completely different people.

4.       I learnt to judge character pretty well. That is not the same as judging someone. It’s not the same as being biased and having prejudice. Judging character is a great lesson when it comes to trust and communication. While it protects you from hurt or heartbreak, judging a person deprives you of those amazing opportunities you might have had to meet a great person and learn and inspire from them. So I would rather talk to everybody no matter what others say.

5.       DON’T JUDGE YOURSELF. Stop being completely critical. You aren’t superhuman yet. Infact, allow a room for failure.

6.       We don’t need useless drama in our lives. Delete all toxic relationships. They aren’t worth it.

7.       FOOD! Eat all of it! Try it all! Try it all while you are fearless. I tried sushi and oh my god it’s now my pet love. Same goes for almost all experiences, say yes to everything. (Exceptions, of course) you never know what beautiful experience you might have.

8.       Love your body. Whether you are a girl or a boy. Not all of us have amazing metabolisms or flawless skins and shiny hair that falls in cresses. But it’s okay, our scars are skin stars and your curves and body is your temple to cherish and love. Don’t let those judgmental...people... tell you who you are. Meh who cares anyway.

9.       Kindness. Being kind reaps the most happiness. You don’t need to be a philanthropist to show how much you care but small acts or gestures are enough to change someone’s life and yours too. And really, you need to start with your friends and family first.

10.   I was afraid of change, too set in my own ways. But recently I realized nothing grows in the comfort zone. I would rather voice my opinions and be unapologetically myself than regret the things I never said or did. Time anyway doesn’t run backwards.

11.   Parents might get annoying as hell. Even grandparents. But when they leave you, you miss their banter and even their taunts. Anyway, it’s difficult to stay mad at them for too long. (I love my mom’s cooking too much). Thus! Love them and tell them so. You would rather do it now than have what ifs in your life later.

12.   I might sound weird but being a teenager means learning to have integrity and discipline too. Class doesn’t come when you earn and become a rich person, but it comes through character and behavior. When is the best time to develop it than now?

13.   It’s fun making before and after pictures.

14.   Social media isn’t everything. It’s the most antisocial thing I have known.

15.   Learn to take criticism well. It’s a gift too. Some people are just critical but some are merely stating what they see.

16.   Enjoy every minute of this time. Eventually you will know what true happiness is. Hang in there. Giving up will take away all the great chances.

This list is by no means exhaustive. But hey, sleep is important. Anyway. These are my learnings, all our experiences would be different. But wherever you are its important to know there will be very few real people who will have genuine concern for you. Thus love, live and let live. And wish me luck for my soon to be found adult hood.

Ps: I am scared.

Writers note: It’s more than a year or two since I have this blog and I’m glad m reaching out to many people now. In US, Germany, Dubai, Singapore and more. IT EXCITES ME REALLY! I’m grateful for all the time you take out to read my work. Thank you for your genuine comments and opinions. Please continue to find and express yourself here, it keeps me going! J

10 things that need to be appreciated about India.

There are perhaps a lot of misconceptions about India that originate from feeble resistant minds. We are seventh largest economy in nominal GDP, the largest economy and perhaps one of the richest countries culturally, socially and economically. India has its own film industry, cultural identity (in fact, several), tourist destinations and its own galore of intelligence as proved by the millions of Indians out there inventing, changing and leading the world’s outlook towards almost every field you can come up with.

With our first expedition to Mars, I think it is now it’s time to address the elephant in the room.

STOP associating India with filth, dirt, poverty and spicy food. This country is more than naked children, garbage and rapists that are being oh so publicly shamed worldwide. Yes, the social inequality and inability to develop in some parts of the country has left some communities and cities lagging behind, with their own shares of crime and shameful behavior. Many crimes and shortcomings have been prominent but really doesn’t the world admire the chicken tikka, our youth culture and even our gullible engineers?

Succumbing to this aggravation, I’m going to filter down a 100 things to 10 things about India that need to be known, that are more lovable than our accent.

1. India is a very young country. Our population is on the rise and more than half are less than 25 years old. And yet! We manage to keep old aging men with backward thinking to rule over the parliament who remind us about our democratic right once every four years. But! With a growing youth it is clear that the country’s social norms are facing change. Crime against women, importance of a girl child, cleanliness, education are all ideas instilled and nourished by today’s young who have the courage to question the wrong “values” of the country.                
2.  Not all of us are engineers. Even though majority of children aspire to become Initials or want to become doctors, not all of us can keep our food down looking at blood. Recently, I found my aunt glaring at my sister’s wish to become a writer; surprised that it’s no longer a retirement plan. So refrain from asking us about your weird mole or math doubts.                                          
3. We love education! Children fight for their right to education. While we complain, children walk miles bare feet and in scorching heat to learn the basics of addition and subtraction. Nowhere will you see girl fighting their families who are keen to marry them off for just a few more years of studying. We want to grow and not be gullible with our head buried in superstitions. Where will you see determination like that?                                                              
4.  Our food is great. Well you all already know that. But chicken tikka is not all that there is to it. Oh hell no! Indian food has sub categories: South Indian, Punjabi, Goan, Gujurati, Assami, Kashmiri and a lot more I can’t list. My mouth is already watering. I’m going to get some curry and naan bread.  

   

   Yum!

                                                                                                                       
5.  We don’t travel elephants, camels, horses or have slaves. We don’t. Period. Just no. We have malls, cars and luxury better than any other country. Stop focusing on the poor.                                                               
6.   Have you seen Indian women? Mothers, house makers; amazingly skilled jugglers between their professional and private lives. Besides, well poised, most, educated, beautiful and graceful. Do I really need to elaborate? Have you seen Madhubala? Our women CEO’s? Pratibha Patil? Sunita Williams?                                                                                                                                
7. India has a vivid history. Stretching back before independence, the Mughal rule to the history of literature and arts which remain preserved in museums. We had gems like Rabindranath Tagore, Munshi Premchand and still living sharped tongued personalities like Shashi Tharoor and Shobha de. Bollywood is the most vivid far reaching industry. Well, yes people shouldn’t randomly break into songs but who said films weren’t larger than life? And Bollywood is not the only industry.    
   
                                                                                                                            
8.  Indians still believe in tradition. The sweet smell of incense wakes us up every day. The old stories narrated by the old holds the fabric of values together. Every festival isn’t merry making but the preservation of millions of beliefs and cultures in one land. While one society celebrates, other watches in merry.
   
   There is disregard and a little discrimination with so many castes fighting, no country has stayed in as much in harmony with so many differences as much as India.                                                                                                                                            
9.  The use of mobile phones are on the rise. We have more mobile connections than tooth brushes! This is an indication of our technologically driven thirst and hunger to develop and become a proclaimed country who doesn’t stand behind in the global race.                                    
10.  KHUMBH MELA IS VISIBLE FROM SPACE! Can you believe that? It’s unbelievable! Bandra Worli sea link has metal wires as long as earth’s circumference! We found water on the moon. Freddie mercury was born Parsi and Ben Kinsley was Krishna Pandit Bhanji. We have the human calculator. And she is a woman.

World, beat that.

Madhubala

Images courtsey: Google, Photobucket. Hongkiat.

This is a family matter. (A book review)

I usually don’t publicly speak about my book choices nor review any books. However, Rohinton Mistry knows how to make you love reading all over again with his suave language and send words to tickle the weak spots of your heart. Family matters was a work of rhythmic language, it comes to you like a wave of little moments of happiness, sadness and gratitude.

As a Mumbaikar, this book was an opportunity to know the youth of this city. How different the vast expanse of this island city stretched that still influences hearts in its old age and is even a motivation to live. It is depicted how an old man can influence lives through illness and death and how your actions come to bite you. This wasn’t the type of book I would originally pick off the book shelf, but something made me do it and I haven’t regretted it ever since.

This is probably not the best book I have read, but family matters is certainly the most influential and impressive book there is. The words have the power to engrave themselves in one’s memory and each character is so evergreen, it’s as if you have known each one for your whole life. Which is probably true, since the story screams as the pages are turned in anticipation.

The genre of this book will not please a teenager or any youth. Nobody wants to know the grievances of anybody they don’t know because everyone has their own share. But then why this book would be written? This is a painting, where each stroke of the brush tears the paper and leaves an everlasting mark which reminds you how life can turn around without your consent and soon the rainbows and rain all mix into each other.

This is a masterpiece which I believe is worth being hung on the wall and looked upon each day.

Read this enthralling novel people! If not for the entangling domestic drama but for the history of the vitality and corruption of Mumbai. For all the amazing characters that you can identify with, for the luxury of understanding how beautiful your own life is.

I hope this book gets popular through blogging! Reading is magical.

The summary: At the age of seventy-nine, Nariman Vakeel already suffering from Parkinson’s disease, breaks an ankle and finds himself wholly dependent on his family. His stepchildren, Coomy and Jal, have a spacious apartment, but are too squeamish and resentful to tend to his physical needs.

Nariman must now turn to his younger daughter and her husband and two sons, who share a small crowded home. Their decision will test not only their material resources but in ways all their tolerance, compassion and integrity. 

(image courtesy- Google)

India's story of patience.

There is no story. Indians don’t know the meaning of patience. What is patience you ask us? Waiting for atleast 2 people to checkout before cutting a line. What is patience? Forcing your car between 2 others perpendicular to the whole traffic, within 2 minutes of the signal turning red. What is patience? Rushing into decisions that have a downward effect on the whole nation.

Don’t ever ask us what patience means. We have never known the meaning.

It is a universal problem, however seems to be more concentrated on us. God seemed to have forgotten to give us this virtue. May be we are not one of the worse cases out there, but we aren’t the most saintly ones either. As much caring one is, there is no patience unless it concerns each one of us. The traffic jams would probably be less of a puzzle if we learnt what the white lines on the road mean, how lane discipline works. Stampedes, deaths and accidents wouldn’t be such a bad problem if instead of panic, patience and rationality crept into our minds, and instead of making a situation worse, there could be a rainbow of solution shining above our head.

But no wait! Let’s just all rush into a store like bulls and throw stuff off the racks after seeing them and not finding them pleasing. Because patience.

Well this outburst comes from the accumulated personal experiences which, I’m sure we all can relate to. The important underlying truth behind this behavior that we have been overlooking is a selfish motive. We all do things because apparently it will help us meet an individual desire, but what we forget is that we aren’t alone in this world. Nor are we as individual in the center of it. It is ironic how everyone is capable about advices about patience and etiquettes but no one in the right situation remembers their own advice. Better said than done right?

If we did think about the effect of our behavior on others, then we would be benefitted ourselves. People would be more forgiving, foregoing and kinder. Rushing to make money in a faster way will only reproduce more hungry mouths, more tattered homes and more broken families. On an even larger level religion would not be the excuse for our anxious restless minds, and the real meaning of patriotism would still be intact.

Less soldiers would be rushed off to war, if countries would negotiate patiently. Laws wouldn’t have to be ENFORCED on people since everyone would understand it better. There would be more agreement and solutions then a worsening economy.

Well like Aristotle famously said, patience is bitter, but its fruit is sweet. But sweet fruits haven’t ripened yet. They won’t till us as individuals take steps to improvement. Because urging no longer works. Actions speak louder and inspiration is the weapon to get results. India needs results now, leading as a nation should be our aim not individual motives. We have dug our own graves and this our own fault.

Something needs to be done. We all are running out of patience.

Few words: Eid Mubarakh. :) 

Ohel David Synagogue. Pune.

In the scorching heat of the sun, a stout old man wobbled towards my mother and me as we waited outside the synagogue. Like many I didn’t have any idea till a past few days what a synagogue is. Figuring it to be a Jewish worship place, it made me question the very existence of Jews in Mumbai and Pune; were the numbers so few that I had no idea that they had temples and committees of their own?

“Where are you from?” asked the skeptical caretaker with a policeman standing not far away. “Mumbai.” was our feeble reply to the questioning eyes of the man. In the dreadful moment of realization, it came to me that we wouldn’t be allowed into the old temple if we weren’t Jewish. After a series of questions about our visit and our interest in the building, the kind old man turned and waved us to come in. The smiling cleaner stood by the gate happy to see visitors even though we were no worshippers.

The gothic red building stood tall in front of me. I felt as small yet peaceful in the shade of the tall pointed turrets and pointed domes that encompassed tales of the Jewish history, the promises of their marriages and the smoke of the holy words from their Torah.

Built by David Sassoon, the structure still stood untouched as if the gods had themselves blessed it. A small chapel like grey building with a triangular entrance and grotesque carvings on the side minarets housed the body of the late David Sassoon.

The area of the synagogue or known as the “Lal deval” amongst the locals, has the power to take you back in time. With not much history connected to it, a story is yet narrated of how the 8 Jewish families in total in Mumbai and Pune come to listen to the holy words from the books with men and women sitting separately, lulled by the lullaby of the Ten Commandments and the divine words narrated by their Moses.

I learnt that nobody other than a Jew was allowed for religious reasons, but yet without any resentment at heart or any hatred towards any other religion, us as Hindus were allowed inside with the faith in us that we come in respect and peace; this in itself is a message of the need of desperate rebirth of the fading harmony amongst all the different “dhramas” in India.

The building was completely empty save its caretakers and police men. No man was praying or no child skipped around running his hands across the red brick walls. But supposedly a wedding that occurred on the last Sunday was a picture completely different from this. The gates were opened to everyone, the hall of prayer was filled with laughter and varied conversations. People cheered as a cup and the rings were placed in boxes and in a one and a half hour wedding ceremony, families were joined, and the man and wife were bonded together into one person, into one soul.

To my foolish curiosity I learnt the tradition of smashing cups at the end of the wedding ceremony only occurs in Israel. My lack of understanding of the rituals might have offended the caretaker a little.

My jaw dropped when the doors to the inside were opened for I had never seen anything so beautiful in my life. The painted windows colored the sunlight in various hues of red, blue and yellow illuminating the marble floor. The empty benches were lined at the side of the hall, in the center a stage, caged and clothed in blue velvet. At the far end of the hall was draped a red velvet curtain with a silver star with the Ten Commandments engraved in marble; in English and Hebrew, on the pillars at the side.

The balcony was lined with wooden fences and the same colored window decorated each wall. The golden chandeliers, without a speck of dust, hung from the high ceiling of the room. I couldn’t help but feel devotion and helpless in this divine place of the Jewish.

It was clear that which every stage of worship one visits, the devotion and love they feel, is the same; serene and purifying.

After a little wandering and pestering the caretaker with questions, we took our leave. Giving my thanks, I saw the cleaner smiling broadly and waving as I turned to take one last look at the red building hoping that I can visit again and meet the Jewish worshippers who managed to keep their roots and hold the teachings of their holy Torah in their heart without any complain towards the ignorance towards Jews in Maharashtra.

Little Bits

Wind in her hair she walks,

with fire in her eyes she talks.

Galaxies collide as her vagabond soul dissolves in the essence of her insanity.

~Niki

***************************

They keep meeting.

Hiding their insanity from vicious judgement.

They kept touching. Carving stories on each other.
They kept running. Away from the foreseen tryst.

But. Finally the hidden desire awakened as time and destiny finally met.
finally halting but yet running.
~Niki