All I am is a mess. Sometimes I choose to not do my eyebrows or wax my arms or leg and let that hair grow in all its glory. And sometimes it isn’t even a choice, it’s just my state of being; unkempt, messy but yet that’s when I’m my happiest. But the thing is I like looking good, hair combed and skin smooth and basically I love “killing it” but it kind of discourages me to do so when I’m told to do so.
There is no better way to say it; considering how societal pressure requires us to look a certain way. Slim, but not too skinny. Healthy, but damn you got to work on those rolls. Hey why you got that mustache? Are you sure you don’t want to get waxed? That dress is short you know.
No salon lady, I don’t want you inflicting more pain on me.
And why do you confine into these expectations? Because we are average humans who want to fit in. And girls have been raised to obey and execute whether it makes sense to them or not. Sure, I realize that being a well behaved, beautiful and poised woman isn’t all that bad, but the consequences of these generation long habits and ways are very obvious. We prey on social media looking for bench marks and boundaries we can fit in, not consciously but we are always looking for trends to follow, to compare ourselves with and to judge ourselves into believing that our confidence comes from how we look.
It comes from how you feel.
I might be wrong, but I got to say nobody is encouraged to be strong, non-confirmative and smart. Because then you are labelled as stuck up. Honestly that’s better than being easy. It’s sad how we have been taught to grow up and behave for the pleasure of men or our families. But never told that you have to “look good” for yourself or get educated for yourself.
This is where feminism comes into picture.
It is an encouragement for woman and men to be equal. For everyone, mothers, fathers, everyone to believe that each of us are as equal as another. Except it deeply concerns me it is creating the wrong role models. Lashing out of social media because a dude expressed his opinion isn’t feminism. Criticizing companies and brands for advertising a certain body image isn’t feminism, while you still use their products. Feminism isn’t totally shutting out public opinion, which could be constructive, and shaming everything and everyone as being anti-feminist or woman or woman rights. Just no.
Feminism is actually going out; working. Efforts. Realizing that to be equal you cannot rely on the structures that protect woman and provide exclusive treatment. Geez it means going out in the real world and proving your worth, showing your capabilities and standing up for what you truly believe, and not sitting at home and firing away on social media. And it’s not about the right to wear anything you want. That’s not about it.
Social media is just ONE medium of spreading the true essence of the concept. Definitely use it, but that shouldn’t be your only contribution.
And to be honest I realize that the issues of body image affect men too. Especially now when women have become so picky and want a whole package which includes those shiny abs and arms. And to be honest, even though we know most guys out there are better than shiny Joe here, we still wants Shiny Joe to like us.
It’s an endless loop of stupidity.
I think we should realize is that how we feel is in sync with what others think of us. We would probably not have problem with our cellulite or not so flat stomachs if nobody told us it is not very attractive. Hell nah! That is attractive if you don’t mind it. Love that fat, it’s always been there for you. We would not have a problem with how we look or bodies, probably only if we were told it doesn’t matter; what matters is what’s in your mind, your principles and idea. But guess who believes that anymore?
So if tomorrow if I am without eyeliner, a pimple or looking more bloated than usual, don’t hesitate to ask me about it, because of course it should matter to others what I look like.
I feel good.
Few words: Yesterday Ashley Graham was trolled for looking too thin in one of her Instagram posts. HELL what? first she is too fat and then too thin. wow.